The Bastard Quiz ONE
The Bastard wants to know
- How're your problem solving skills?
1. The PRIMARY thought that should rush to mind when confronting
a user's problem is:
A. WHAT HAS CHANGED?
B. WHAT DOES THE CLIENT NEED?
C. HOW DID THEY GET MY PHONE NUMBER?
D. CAN THIS WAIT UNTIL AFTER LUNCH/WORK?
E. CAN THIS WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT PERSON TAKES OVER THIS JOB?
2. In debugging a user's problems with a network, the most useful
tool is often:
A. The Activity lights on the machine's network card
B. The State and activity lights on the switch/router port
C. A Lan Analyser
D. A Lie Detector
E. Twenty feet of Duck Tape and a cattle prod.
3. You're at an executive meeting when a manager claims that you
failed to treat their problem with a correct amount of urgency.
A. Ask for the Helpdesk Job ID so that you can track the call
B. Admit that it's sometimes difficult for a user to understand
how jobs are prioritized
C. Deny everything
D. Admit everything, and say that prioritisation is done at the
E. Say "Was that bestiality pictures that wouldn't come out in
full colour? No? Oh, I was sure it was you. Must have
been someone else >wink<"
4. Speaking of Priorities, you have calls from the Data Processing
Pool, the Chief Beancounter and a pleb from P.R. Your priorities
A. The Chief beancounter, P.R, then the DP Pool
B. The Chief beancounter, D.P Pool, then P.R.
C. The women in DP. The PFY will get the rest.
D. The women in DP. Were there other calls?
E. The women in DP. Followed by an informal feedback session
at Kareoke night at the local drinker. Your shout.
5. The Adage "Separate the Problem from the Cause" in computing
A. Diagnose the actual problem as opposed to it's effects
B. Prevent Faulty Software from further compromising data
C. Lock the problem down to a specific set of events
D. Lock the User's Keyboard in the Tape Safe.
E. Lock the User in the Tape Safe
Mostly A's: You're a Computer Science student aren't you?
Problem solving doesn't work like that in the
Mostly B's: Yet another lean and green candidate! Did they
teach you that at the Helpdesk training school.
BAD HELPDESK OPERATOR, NO DECAF!
Mostly C's: You're soft, but you're getting the idea. A
bit more overcaffinated coffee, a few sleepless
nights, and you'll be A-Grade material
Mostly D's: You walk the walk, but the talk's still a bit
of a mystery isn't it. Remember: They're lying
Mostly E's: What can we tell you that you don't already
know? Nothing - of course!